To anyone living in survival mode…
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Yesterday marked the third consecutive day of sending my kids out the door to school FULLY in tears! Due to a multitude of reasons including but not limited to:
a bike wreck on the way Monday.
a back talking 11 year old.
nonstop arguing i.e. living in a house with one bathroom.
a daughter who thinks October means wear a sweater even when the atmosphere refuses to acknowledge its fall.
In the total 195 minutes between waking up and leaving for school this week we’ve:
been covered in mud and bike grease.
changed our clothes a multitude of times.
written “I will choose to use my words correctly even when I am frustrated or angry” a whole bunch of times. This mom DON’T PLAY when it comes to writing sentences.
been banned from the bathroom when your sibling is brushing their teeth.
and for sure cried over what we were eating for breakfast.
When the door closed yesterday I let out a very eloquent prayer that went something like this: “Lord, if tomorrow starts like this, I will likely lose my ever-loving-mind. So I am going to need you to fix them before morning, K?” So that might classify as begging or maybe an ultimatum but nonetheless… God heard me, right?
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I would love to say this morning was flawless and amazing. We did successfully make it out the door with no active waterworks but only after a few outfit changes and a bad hair day fit. This is where my mom brain goes into full justification mode. ‘They are fed, they are alive and they are going to school’, which are all good things BUT survival mode is not good enough for me. It’s one of my deepest desires to have a home full of joy and fun, which isn’t possible if we are always arguing. I want my kids to see Jesus pouring out of me, which isn’t possible if I am yelling to pick up the pace. I want peace… oh, how I want peace. It just isn’t possible when you are running your kids to school while your hubby carries the broken bike home.
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So today I am choosing to look past the generic justification and look for real truth. Just this week both our kids’ teachers told us they were very smart and well behaved students, WIN! On Sunday it overjoyed my heart to watch our 7-year-old son frantically flipping through Bible pages looking for the scriptures our pastor had on the screen. Y’all it took him a hot minute to find them but he knows how to find scripture,WIN. And in all the chaos there have been many moments of laughter because my son is a tiny comedian and my daughter thinks she can dance. So while the starts have been rough, the ends of been filled with hugs and giggles. If survival mode is the place we are going to live for a moment… we will just make the best of it! And for the same reasons I love Mondays and a new month, tomorrow morning offers us a chance to try again. And try again we will…
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Behold, I am doing a NEW THING; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will MAKE A WAY IN THE WILDERNESS and rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:19
