Boundaries Boundaries Boundaries
+++
This might be the post where you start throwing things at me... if you haven’t already. But I truly believe this conversation could take all 10 days of this series. While there should be many kinds of marital boundaries - financial, time, family - I want to focus on our interactions with the opposite gender.
+++
Nobody ever really plans to cheat on their spouse. “I would never XYZ…” Um… pretty sure Peter said he would never deny Christ and we know how that went. It’s abundantly clear that God hates divorce. Yet, scripture lists infidelity as one of the only reasons to divorce. This alone should prove you MUST give great attention to this area of your marriage.
+++
This is where boundaries come in. Free-range is great for your chickens but not your marriage. Boundaries are hard, sound extreme, are annoying and imposing on people around you. BUT they are worth it! Let me stop you before you think I am a crazy, jealous, and controlling wife. Boundaries are a principle found throughout the entire Bible. And because God’s ways are better than mine, I am willing to appear a little crazy. 2 Timothy instructs us to RUN from all temptation. Ephesians instructs us to never leave a foothold for the enemy. Willingness to set boundaries displays a desire to preserve intimacy, connection, and ultimately honors the covenant you made before your Father.
+++
Let’s get really practical for a moment. This can’t be done without an open conversation with your spouse. I suggest actually writing out your desires and ways to achieve them. Here are a few of our boundaries to get you started:
-Never communicate via message or text with someone of the opposite gender. Group text is a lifesaver!
-Never go to lunch/dinner/a walk etc. with anyone of the opposite sex, ever.
-Never ride in a vehicle with someone of the opposite sex.
-If you find yourself having to step outside the boundaries, immediately let your spouse know the circumstances. Do everything in your power to be above reproach.
+++
Real talk…If this advice bothers or annoys you, I would ask you to carefully consider what it is that you have to hide, or that you are holding so tightly to, that you are annoyed at the idea of setting boundaries. Any area of our lives kept secret from our spouse or that we cling to above our marriage relationship is fertile ground for big issues.
+++
I’ve seen marriages crumble because of innocent text messages. And they often say they wished they would have had these practices in place. But not once have I heard someone regret having healthy standards to guard their marriage. We put locks on our doors to protect our home. Maybe it’s time to add locks to your marriage to protect your covenant.
+++
Read 2 Timothy 2:22, Ephesians 4:27, 1 Peter 5:8, Philippians 2:14