Stop mourning the loss of the marriage you thought you would have.
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The idea of a fairytale future begins at a very young age for girls. Then in high school and college, we shift to a well-thought-out list of expectations. And we are told to wait until this perfect man arrives to sweep us off our feet. Otherwise, we are settling for less than God’s best.
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If you are already married, it’s time to throw that list away. Holding onto some fairytale idea or past expectation will suck every ounce of good out of your marriage. The reality is, this IS your husband and you ARE his wife. For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part. See your marriage for exactly where you are. Learn to enjoy your marriage for exactly what it is. Pray and have hope for more, but ALWAYS look for good in what you have.
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This isn’t about lowering your expectations because that merely causes bitterness and resentment. It’s about allowing God to fill the gap between the dream you had and the reality you are living. This requires you to shift your perspective away from your unmet desires to see ways God has already blessed you. Remember that you married him and at some point you really liked him.. like a lot. Dig deep for the things that first attracted you to him. Maybe it’s time to make a new list! Seriously… make a list!
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You aren’t STUCK with this man. Your union is an opportunity to be the hands and feet of Jesus to the person you love so dearly. Don’t reduce your marriage to a list of unfinished tasks and unmet expectations that keep you from enjoying your life together. Are you really that mad about the trash not being taken out?
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If your husband is not a Christ-follower: Remember that you are not authorized to negotiate anyone else’s relationship with God. The way he worships, serves, and connects with God (if he does at all) is not up to you. You can pray for him to join you at church. You can pray for him to come to a saving knowledge of Jesus. You can pray that God will show himself mighty in the heart of your spouse. BUT YOU. CAN’T. SAVE. HIM. That is the work of the Lord and the Lord alone. Salvation comes by faith, through grace... not a nagging wife or a strong ultimatum.
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Happily ever after isn’t real. But God’s grace is sufficient for every circumstance in your life! Receive that grace and find joy in your husband!!!
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Read 2 Corinthians 12:9, Ephesians 2:8, Ephesians 4:32